My Life

     I know this blog is about my husband Jerry.  But I have not written anything in quite a while and I wanted to explain.  During the summer, I was able to do most of the work Jerry would have done at a leisurely pace.  Then school preparation began and I can't seen to keep up.  I am guessing the anti-depressants that I now have to take are making me so tired because I have no energy.  But, I also have few emotions.  There are times when I am alone at home that I just want to scream and cry, but I can't seem to.  I also can't just laugh out loud and relax.  I used to look so forward to weekends so I could spend time with my boys (When I say boys, I mean the pets also. The dogs and cat are also males!).  Now, I dread weekends because I can't get the memories of that Sunday, May 22nd out of my head.  I also stay at school later than ever because I don't like going home to an empty house.  I have definitely decided that this will be my last year at school because my heart isn't in my job anymore.  I don't feel like my heart is anywhere but with my own kids.
     I don't want your pity.  I had almost seventeen years with the most wonderful man ever.  I wanted a lifetime more, but that wasn't meant to be.  So, I will try to live.  For now, that's the best I can do.